Morning programming

This happens almost every morning in hallways, elevators, airport bathrooms, etc.

Me: “Howdy.”
Response: “Fine, how are you?”

No, I didn’t ask “how are you” because - from a stranger - I don’t actually want to know. People are programmed. To stimulate your morning, say weird things to people, like “Good evening” or “Surf’s up, dude” or “Justice is nigh”. Something ominous is usually good. And provide detailed or conditional responses to the pat “How are you?” question.

Stranger on elevator: “How are you?”
You: “Considering that I just had a 12’ tapeworm surgically removed yesterday, I’m stupendous.”