In the wake of any disaster, the first and most appropriate response is to ask, “Why? Why, God, did you let this happen to me!?” Yesterday was certainly a disaster for the Republicans. So why did this happen?

Quite clearly, God handed victory to the Democrats to punish the Republicans. The GOP is still God’s “Chosen Party®”, but just as He occasionally punished His Chosen People, the Hebrews, for their wicked ways, now He is turning His cleansing anger upon His party. What exactly did the GOP do?
  1. Failed to take out Hugo Chavez. The Administration and Congress ignored God’s chosen messenger who instructed them of the proper course of action.
  2. Placed a homosexual in charge of the Department of Justice.
  3. The President has allied himself with other “people of faith” without making the distinction that they are people of “false faiths”, including Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Episcopalians, Christian Scientologists, Christian Scientists, animists, Hindus, Buddhists, and druids.
  4. Ted Haggard.

The Republicans now need to get back to their roots, which probably means waging a gratuitous war, suspending habeas corpus, and disrespecting the judiciary. The GOP needs to make Lincoln proud!